Day 2 – “Honest” work

I wake up on my feet in the pantry I rented for 10G. I don’t waste any time in getting started. I wolf down an apple and the spring water I bought, then I’m up and out into the streets. I really want to get a wood axe so I can make a bow, but nobody seems to be selling them. Perhaps I could just buy a bow instead. Nope, seems they’re not in stock anywhere either. Maybe I came at a bad time. Is it nearly Christmas? Have all the good axes and bows already gone to wealthier children? Frustrated, I decide to head back out into the wilderness and simply head in the other direction, away from the wolves and past Brandy-Mug farm

Well, it’s certainly snowing a little heavier today. I’m taking it as a positive sign. You know what they say: “White sky in morning, you’re going to freeze to death.” Something like that. I pass the farm and almost trip over a chicken lying in the middle of the road. I then stop as I hover my cursor over it. “Chicken – Talk”
“Talk?” Well, I’m more of a pigeon guy myself, but since I haven’t seen any during my first day and night in Windhelm, why the Hell not. I attempt to talk to the chicken but I am horrified when, quite against my will, I reach out and pluck nine feathers out of its arse! Oh God. I’m so sorry Mr.Chicken. I don’t know what came over me. I hastily walk away, red in the face with embarrassment. As I do, another building comes into view. Hlaalu farm. I walk round the back and find that this farm is also chock-a-block with wheat ready for harvesting, yet the farm hand on duty is just whacking the frozen soil with a hoe. I walk over and rip up all the wheat, but when I try to sell it to her she just looks at me like I’m an idiot.

I guess Mrs. Brandy-Mug really does just have a few screws loose then. Well, if she’s not going to stop me stealing the wheat then I guess it’s mine for the taking. I also take the chicken eggs, some more chicken feathers and a bunch of snowberries. It’s her job on the line, not mine. I then stand in front of her and eat one of the raw eggs, a sprig of wheat and a flower. Nothing like a bit of good old fashioned hobo madness. I then discover the alchemical properties of all three things. The Egg makes me resistant to magic, so you put those cards away David Blaine, I’m having none of it. The wheat makes me feel healthier and the flower gives me a small burst of energy, as though restoring my stamina.

I continue up the road and find yet another farm with yet another bunch of snowberry bushes. I pick the lot before heading over to the farm hand who is currently sharpening a sword. He informs me that if I am willing to help with the harvest, he’ll pay in cash. I immediatly hand over the wheat I pulled up at the farm next door and he hands over 25G. Now I just have to hope he doesn’t turn around…

Luckily, he goes back to sharpening his sword. I quickly dash around the farm and rip up all of the wheat, then hand it over to him. Without batting a eyelid he gives me another 55G. “Honest pay for honest work.” he smiles. Damn straight.

I hurry on up the road, picking up all the snowberries I find which is starting to become a ridiculous amount. In the distance, I see another building. Probably another bloody farm full of bloody wheat. Bloody… bloody.

I approach the building and suddenly everything goes wrong all at once. A bear trap snaps shut around my leg, a woman starts shouting at me and I get electrocuted. Worse second of my life ever. I don’t even know who is attacking me or why, but bear trap be damned, I run. I run like a homeless potato man who’s just been struck by lightning. I keep running long after my stamina bar has emptied and don’t stop until I reach the city gates. Something about these walls and the guards make me feel so safe. Especially this guy.

You don’t fuck around with a mustache like that. Bricks firmly shat, I hobble through the gate and back into the little shop in the lower part of town. Maybe I could get some… ARGH, ARGH, ARRRGGH!!!

Fucking hell! I get the fright of my life (again) as I walk through the door into the shop. Sadri is a nice guy, always willing to buy the random crap brought in by a random homeless man, but dear God. That face! Dude needs to get the lighting in his shop sorted out before he gets an arrow between the eyes! I offload my berry and flower collection and Sadri smiles politely, if not just to play along so I leave his shop and he can just chuck them in the bin after I’m gone. I then head back over to the market. There are still no wood axes on sale anywhere. Not even the blacksmith. He does however have a mining pickaxe, and I happen to know of 2 iron veins outside the city walls. Right now, the only thing stopping me moving on to a new town that isn’t so tightfisted in the axe department, is those bloody wolves. I cannot afford to buy ANY of the weapons on sale on the market, so maybe I should just make my own. Something to help me feel a little safer on the road ahead.

Back outside the city, I mine out some ore from an iron vein just off the road. Then as I try to locate the second vein I recall seeing earlier, I notice that one of the Khajiit caravans has set up shot behind the stable. I always make sure to check out their wares when they appear. I’m a cat person you see? Well, technically THEY are the cat people. I am a cat lover. Not in that way. They don’t have any wood axes either, but they do have more spring water, which they sell for 2G. Wait… 2G!? I paid Sadri 21G yesterday! That ugly bastard ripped me off! Well he can shove it if he thinks I’m shopping there again! Pah!

Still fuming, I take out my frustrations on a nearby rock, which happens to have iron ore in it.

The time is now 6:30pm and the sun is starting to set, so I head back into town to smelt my ore and make myself a weapon. I take my ingots to the smithy, buy some leather strips for 19G, and then forge a dagger like a fucking boss.

All the while, the blacksmith watches me with a concerned look on his face. I can’t say I blame him. Some crazy old hobo has just fashioned a shank in his forge. I then walk over to the grindstone he is working at, and prod him until he gets up. I then sharpen the blade and voila, got me a stabby thing.

While I’m certainly not interested in charging into battle with this thing, it’s nice to have it for self defense or to wave it around in the square like a crazy should the mood take me. That’s right Skyrim, Bob Robertson is armed. If any of those chickens give me lip, or if a particularly nasty rabbit gets up in my shit, bitch is getting an extended smile!

I put my dagger away for now and head back to the inn. I rent the same panty as last night and I’m pretty sure the hay hasn’t been changed. Rough times I suppose, but tomorrow, I’m getting the fuck out of Windhelm.