Day 1 – Beggars and Berries

It’s a cold, icy morning in the city of Windhelm and I, Bob Robertson, have just awoken in a small dank corner behind an abandoned house. I am quite a sight to behold. I am an old, scrawny, penniless coot with nothing to my name but a set of tattered linens and the cloth wrapped around my feet. I am, for all intents and purposes, a beggar. Not only that, I am a beggar with quite a crippling disability. I cannot beg. No matter how rich a person I approach, I simply cannot bring myself to ask them for any money. It simply is not an option. I really mean that. There is literally no option to ask anyone for money in Skyrim.

My past is irrelevant, other than the fact that whatever I WAS doing clearly didn’t work out. How I ended up where I am has no meaning, and the reason for my looking like some kind of caveman-potato cross breed will be forever shrouded in mystery.

But, enough about me. Actually no, more about me. It is 7:15am and I am starving thanks to a mod that some inconsiderate bastard installed forcing me to seek shelter, food and drink on a regular basis. Time to wander around the city in search of some free food. I pass through a cemetery, duck in and out of a few alleyways, and head over the the market but aside from the occasional guard there isn’t a soul to be seen. Mostly likely that they’re all still sleeping at this early hour. Then I spot a fellow beggar, Silda the Unseen, warming her hands over the town forge. I make a quick skip over to her to talk pigeons or government conspiracies or whichever homeless gibberish is trending these days. She smiles when she sees me, but then, who wouldn’t. The only thing less fortunate than her in this small town is my face.

“Spare a coin for an old woman me Lord?” she croaks. First of all, she looks pretty young, certainly younger than me at least. Secondly, piss off! Of course I can’t spare a coin. I walk away. “The divines bless a charitable soul” she mutters to my back.

What the fuck. I’ve been awake for all of 15 minutes and this bitch is giving me attitude. What kind of world do we live in where beggars turn on their fellow beggars like that? I would say something, but as I turn to face her she is nowhere in sight. People are now filing out of their houses and getting ready to set up shop, completely ignoring me as I stand in the middle of the market seething and ranting. Well, I’m really just standing there, but deep down inside I am filled with hate. To make matters worse, as I attempt to leave the market, a guard stops me and tells me I should unload all my unwanted gear at the local shop. Would that be the paper thin rag I’m wearing? Or maybe these hefty strips of cloth around my feet. Maybe he just wants me to run around naked so he can arrest me to meet some kind of quota. Whatever, everyone here is a dick. I don’t need to take this. I’m going to make something of myself, you see if I don’t! “You hear me Windhelm!? I’M GOING TO BE SOMEBODY ONE DAY!” I shout, in my head.

I stroll through the streets, head held high. I’ll show them. I’ll show them all. Then I dig around in some crappy old barrels and find some apples.

Well, at least I won’t starve today, but I am going to need to sort out some kind of real sleeping arrangements. I can stand around in alley ways pretending to sleep until the elk come home but at the end of the day (literally) it’s not going to do me any favours. I come out into the town square and meet Silda again, now hovering in front of the town hall. I try talking to her again and this time she offers to give me a few tips in the way of pick pocketing, for the low low cost of 200 Gold pieces!? Jesus! Maybe if you lowered your prices a little you wouldn’t be on the streets Silda!

After a couple more hours of aimless wandering around, chatting to a few of the local dark elves as I go, I have discovered one thing. Windhelm is kind of a wang when it comes to making money. There are no herbs or ingredients in sight so there is nothing I can do with regard to alchemy. I figured I would try my hand at making a bow and taking up hunting, but the guy who seems to handle the majority of the wood chopping around here has a pretty firm grip on his axe and I cannot find any lying around. It’s looking more and more likely that I will have to venture outside the city walls, unprotected and unarmed. There’s another problem. I’m an old man. I don’t intend to do any fighting or killing anytime soon. If I should need to do so, it will be through the use of hired muscle, which brings us back to the money problem. I guess for now I have no other option. I step through the main gates and into the land of Skyrim.

I pass the stables and have a quick rifle through some of the food sacks lying out in the open. Hell, if people are willing to leave tomatoes and salt outside then I’m not going to think twice about it. It’s a bum eat bum world out here. Well, a bum eat tomato world at least. I spot a bush in the distance with some curious looking red berries on them. Yes! My first pickable ingredient. I tear the snowberries off the bush and stuff a bunch of them into my face. I experience a rather unusual sensation, as though I have become slightly resistant to the cold. Good thing too. I’m still wearing nothing but rags on my feet and charging through deep snow.

I also sample some of the salt I nicked from the stable and suddenly feel as though I am slightly weaker to magic. I’m not sure how that works. Perhaps it means a simple as a card trick will cause me to faint if I eat too much salty food. There you are you see? You learn something new every day. Oh, and don’t forget that too much salt can also make you glow like a freaking firefly at a rave.

I continue along the road, finding more snowberries along the way, as well as a bunch of blue mountain flowers. I scarf the blue flowers in an instant and feel altogether more healthy, as though they have some kind of ability to restore one’s health. That feeling is short lived however, as I notice 2 wolves up ahead and my heart leaps into my throat. I quickly duck into a crouch, or crouch into a duck depending on how you look at things, and slowly creep back the way I came. I then turn and sprint back to the stable. At least then if the wolves do chose to attack me they have to do so infront of 3 of Skyrims horses. For those not in the know, horses in Skyrim tend not to give a single fuck and will stamp the life out of anything which threatens them or their owners. As I flee, I grab some snowberries from a bush I missed, before I stop outside Brandy-Mug Farm to gather my thoughts.

11 Snowberries, which I value at 4 gold pieces each. I might be able to afford a night at the inn! I am eager to head back to the city and check, however I notice that Brandy-Mug Farm is stocked full of wheat ready for harvesting and farmers pay good money to random passers by who walk up and rip their crops out of the ground. So, I do just that, and Bolfrida Brandy-Mug who happens to be standing right next to me as I do it, pays me 40 gold pieces for her own wheat. What a nice lady. I mean, thicker than pig shit, but nice.

I also help myself to some more snowberries growing around the farm, some chicken eggs, 8 more apples and a bottle of wine. All just sitting out in the open. I consider taking them to Silda and waving them in her stupid dirty face, but if she considers her pick pocket technique to be worth 200 gold pieces, I probably shouldn’t show her all the food and drink I have about my person. I still head back to the city, but I’m going to seek out the store and see what kind of price I can get for all this loot. Well, loot by my standards at least.

I pop into Sadri’s general goods store and sell him the wine, some potatoes I apparently aquired somewhere, and all my snowberries. He values them at 1 gold piece each however, rather than the 4 I predicted. Mind you, they are growing right outside the city gate. It’s a wonder none of the other beggars in town have tried this. Still, I am now sitting at 65 gold pieces and it’s only 3pm! Cracking first day I’d say. To celebrate I decide to treat myself to some new threads. Sadly, I can still only afford basic clothing, but it’s a step up from the rags I’ve been running around in.

I also check the weapons he is selling, just in case I decide to brave the wolves later on, however even a dagger is out of my price range. Instead, I go for a bottle of spring water. It’s pricey at 21G. In fact it’s almost twice as much as my outfit, but it will help me out later for sure. Feeling pretty pleased with myself I head off to find Silda, and while she doesn’t seem phased by my sudden wardrobe upgrade, I give her a single gold piece, just for kicks.

I then head over to Candlehearth Hall to get a bed for the night. The lady at the desk charges me 10G for the room and then shows me where it is. Upon entering I am greeted with a plate of fruit and a wedge of cheese, none of which can be eaten without apparently breaking the law. Is this a hotel room or a fucking pantry? Somewhat perplexed I decide to much on one of the apples that I found in what was essentially a bin this morning.

Full up and feeling pretty pleased with myself, I go for an early night. In the morning I shall visit the market to stock up on supplies before hitting the road. I pretty much cleared out the local snowberry bushes and the farm will need some time before I can harvest it again, so I will need to travel further to make any money. Who knows where I’ll end up and what random things I find in the dirt will be shovelled into my gob. Time will tell.